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YOU’VE BECOME A HUMAN MUSHROOM
IF:
BY ROY P. DREW
| • | Buying lottery tickets is your retirement plan |
| • | You believe having more electronic toys than your friends shows others you’re rich |
| • | You are a luck thinker |
| • | You believe most millionaires were born that way |
| • | You don’t realize annuities make money for the salesman, not the investor |
| • | You think annuities are good investments |
| • | You believe buying life insurance is an investment program |
| • | You seek out keepers, causes, and/or groups to guide your decisions |
| • | You think people who objectively judge both the merits and faults of a situation before they make a decision are prejudiced, screwballs, or even bigoted and need to be controlled or ostracized |
| • | You believe big oil companies are exploiters but tobacco, alcohol, and snack food companies aren’t |
| • | Living were a swimming pool, you’d stay in the shallow end |
| • | You just maxxed out your credit card to buy an I-Pod and have no money for dinner |
| • | You worry about what people think about what you’re doing |
| • | You think an IRA is an investment |
| • | You believe real estate never goes down in value |
| • | You’ve been taught to stay away from the stock market and buy mutual funds instead |
| • | You think you must be rich already to start a brokerage account |
| • | Buying a 10-year old used car to get to your minimum wage job is a better use of money than paying college tuition |
| • | You believe politicians are qualified to be leaders because they tell you they are |
| • | You voted for the political candidate who had the most signs planted |
| • | You believe leadership is an appointed position rather than an earned one. You go along to get along |
| • | You believe that when a politicians or an appointed leader says, “Trust me”, you do |
| • | The people you don’t like are always wrong |
| • | The people you like are always correct |
| • | You received a pre-approved credit card and used it immediately to buy a carton of cigarettes, a case of beer, and a large bag of snacks |
| • | You opened a saving account because you heard it was a good way to save up for more tattoos and piercings |
| • | You “Supersize” your order because it’s cheaper that way |
| • | Being diagnosed with ADHD was a good excuse for not getting an education. |
| • | 10 earrings are better than 1 per ear |
| • | You’ve memorized slogans without knowing their origins or context |
| • | Can’t is a word you use frequently |
| • | You feel better about yourself when your favorite team wins |
| • | Nothing you do is important enough to prepare and plan for |
| • | “Ready, fire, aim” is your motto |
| • | Freedom of choice is something others have |
| • | You pass time by going on spending sprees |
YOU QUALIFY AS A HUMAN MUSHROOM IF YOU
ANSWER “YES” TO AT LEAST 2